Top Of Mind

John McClane is back, but unfortunately most of his mojo has disappeared along with his hair. Die Hard 4.0 or Live Free or Die Hard is definitely a bigger and louder movie, but even the cool effects and frantic action could not get McClane back to where he was before with the original Die Hard.Bruce Willis can still kick butt at 52 - and there is nothing wrong with Willi’s performance in Live Free or Die Hard. In many ways I am glad to see John McClane again, brings back memories of the good old 80s. But beyond Willis, there is nothing much going for this movie.

A limp plot pulls the whole movie down. I mean, in this movie the stakes are the highest of the four movies - the future of the nation is at stake, if McClane cannot stop the bad guys, it will be total anarchy. A fire sale where everything must go. There is drama and high tension right there.

But do we really care? The way the story is told through uninspiring characters made it hard for us to care. McClane’s daughter is being held hostage made us care a bit, but not by much. Saving the life of a cool witty hacker dude - Mac’s own Justin Long - maybe we cared a bit more there.

The plot made it hard for us to invest in the characters - I mean in the original Die Hard, when Hans Gruber took over Nakatomi Building, we cared what will happen to the hostages within. We cared for the cop who accidentally stumbled upon the crime and was trying to help out McClane, we even cared for McClane’s somewhat snotty wife. Failing in that Live Free or Die Hard failed as a movie.

Die Hard movies always had great supporting characters - Sgt Al Powell from DH, Capt Captain Lorenzo (by Dennis Franz), Trudeau (Fred Thompson) DH2, they moved the story along, increased the tension. But in Live Free or Die Hard, the writers somehow failed to come up with a good supporting characters. Matt Farrell, Lucy McClane and Mai Linh do add some color, but other than Kevin Smith as a nerdy hacker the other characters were simply limp.

The way FBI, NSA and DHS are portrayed as bumbling idiots and incompetents didn’t help matters either. If they are that stupid then they probably deserve what is happening to them. Heck, even Trudeau (Fred Thompson) in DH2 tried to fight back intelligently - although he was getting outwitted, at least he was trying.

Now for some positives - the action set-pieces are great. The scene where the bad guys try to spoof McClane and Farrell into an ambush and the subsequent chase scene is tense and ends satisfyingly. Then there is another scene where McClane got his ass kicked by Mai Linh - which somehow ended up in an elevator shaft. Then there is a memorable scene where McClane is being chased by a ultra high-tech F-35. There are some funny McClane witticisms, but they are few and far between.

Die Hard is definitely still is the best of the four movies. Die Hard 2 comes close, but Die Hard 3 and Die Hard 4 should not have been made. However it is good to see McClane in action again. So if you have a hankering for a blast from the past and are willing to forgive a few things (bad plot, uninspiring characters), then go see Live Free or Die Hard. Otherwise don’t bother as you will come back disappointed.

Transformers is why we go see movies.

All the hype aside, Transformers brings us back to the good old days of (mostly Spielberg) movies - Goonies, Gremlins, Raiders, Young Sherlock Holmes, ET - all the great movies of the 80s. I must admit that those are the movies that formed my opinion of what movies ought to be and I am happy to see that type of movies return.

Yes, I know Michael Bay directed the movie, but the tone and manner of the movie is all Spielberg. Supposedly Spielberg at one point described the Transformer movie as ‘about a boy and his car’ - and despite all the action and special effects, this is what Transformers is all about. It reminded me of Corvette Summer in many ways.

Transformers has all the elements of a typical Spielberg movie of the 80s - a geeky protagonist with a lot of heart saddled with a dysfunctional family, a not-so-distant relatively that leaves something behind, a hot unattainable chick (seemingly), stupid government types, stupid government types who are funny, lots and lots of action, cool special effects and awesome moments that make you go wow and great moments of laugh-out-loud humor.

Despite the unusual name Shia LaBeouf is the typical Spielberg protagonist and he fit’s right into the movie - starting with him trying to hawk his insane grandfather’s stuff at school to the moment when he is seemingly stalked by his ‘crappy old Camaro.’ to the moment towards the end where he is trapped atop a building with nowhere to run. I look forward to see him in the next Indiana Jones movie.

The movie is filled with memorable characters - from the Special Forces soldiers played by Josh Duhamel & Tyrese Gibson to the ‘hot,’ Megan Fox. She has her moments and helps move the movie along as only a love interest could. Then there are Kevin Dunn & Julie White who play the parents and provide some really funny moments along with Mojo the Chihuahua. Of course we cannot forget John Turturro - who plays the wacky Sector 7 man.

While the characterization of the Autobots and Decepticons are a bit thin, the special effects that animate them are topnotch, believable and just plain awesome to watch. The special effects are one of the most realistic and awe inspiring I have seen in a movie in a while - from way the transformation takes place to the Scorponok (Scorpion) attack in the desert, to the Sector 7 chase of Optimus Prime, to the final showdown in the city-streets.

A bit of a disclaimer; I was never a fan of the original Transformers series. Although I have seen some episodes including the much maligned Beast Wars, I always thought that the idea was great, but the execution was plain cheesy. However, today, after seeing the Michal Bay movie, I am a believer.

So would I recommend it? Well, it goes like this. If you grew up in the 80s with such movies as Goonies, Gremlins, Raiders, Young Sherlock Holmes, ET, and thought they were awesome, go see this. The magic is back.

I know it’s way late, but now that I finally got the chance to go see it, here is the review. There are two things you ought to know about this movie. One : It’s simply awesome. Two. It’s a butt and mind numbing 3 hour movie.

I loved the Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and with such a cliffhanger, I just had to go see this movie.

Firstly about the awesome part. The special effects and set-pieces are bigger and better. From the shoot-out in Singapore to the first appearance of the Flying Dutchman to the trip to the World’s End (yes, it is massive waterfall) to the Shipwreck Bay to the cannon duel at the maelstrom they are all awesome. One thing Hollywood has learned to do and learned to do well are the action scenes - they are both tense and comical.

In case you are wondering, Jack did die in Dead Man’s Chest. The first half of the movie is all about getting Jack back - and bring him back they do. But Jack wants to get back at Davy Jones, Captain Barbossa wants his ship back, Will wants to keep his promise and save his dad from the clutches of Davy Jones, Elizabeth wants… well seems everyone wants something in this movie. This brings me to the second thing you should know about this movie.

Secondly it is an unnecessarily padded movie with more subplots than tentacles of the Kraken. I won’t even bother to go into them here. Why do we need Captain Sao Feng and his merry band of Singaporean pirates? The lovestory of Calypso and Davy Jones? Admiral Norrington’s need for redemption?… phew. These subplots add a whole bunch of unnecessary exposition. Did they have the Singapore scene to show how Will will betray Jack (gasp!) couldn’t they have done it in a more streamlined fashion? Oh, don’t worry there are lots of betrayals - by Jack, by Elizabeth, by Will (again) and by Barbossa - so I wasn’t giving away any critical plot points.

I did say earlier that the set-pieces were awesome, but after sitting through the weired encounter with Sao Feng which lead to the explosive (literally) I was beginning to wonder if the action sequences will do much to move the plot forward or are they just there for the sake of being there. Even the awesome maelstrom sequence dragged on for too long! I love my action sequences, but this is ridiculous.

Depp’s Jack Sparrow is still colorful and funny, especially when he is playing against Barbossa. And Barbossa is a great and believable character, Rush really played him well. Will Turner, after getting some emotional dept in the second movie turned bland for most of the movie. I am not sure if it is because of Bloom or the script. Knightley’s Elizabeth is pretty as ever, if somewhat gaunt looking - other than kicking some pirate butt and giving an awful speech that was meant to be inspiring, doesn’t get to do much meaningful.

So with everyone double-crossing everyone else, we reach the climatic scene at the Maelstrom. There is a somewhat surprise ending - I have to say that I didn’t see it coming. Oh, and do sit through the long end credits if you want to see something a little extra at the end. And yes, Keith Richards does show up - for all of two minutes.

I walked out of the theater asking myself the question that one of the characters asked. “Do you think he plans it all out or makes it up as he goes along.” Did Gore Verbinski actually plan it this way?

Despite my criticism of the movie, I would say, go see the movie. It does bring ‘a’ story arc to an end, so if you need closure and all that go see it. Or if you just like big action sequences, then this movie has plenty. It was just a bit too much for me.

I think LOST is great, but after going through 3 seasons, these are the things I learned..

1 .The miracle of water. No matter how serious the injury is, whether it is a gun shot wound or being pierced in the lungs with a sharp object or being attacked by a weird black cloud - water can fix it. Every time.

2. If you hoard stuff, keep it a secret. Every do-gooder will want to kick your ass or even worse an ex-Republican Guard will try to torture you to get to your stuff. Of course you just might get a kiss too, but that is only after getting your ass kicked in the first place. To add insult to injury, you still get no respect for a couple of seasons.

3. Don’t have sex on deserted islands with no birth control. You know what sex leads to right? Unless it is with Kate or Sun or Niki or Ana-lucia or Shannon.. er Rose? OK, maybe not Rose.

4. If you are feeling particularly bored, then stop entering the numbers into an old computer. That way you get to see experience some drama and see weird Technicolor effects in the sky. You will, of course, have no idea what you just saw – at least for a couple of seasons.

5. Obsessive people can kill you. They will make you follow them while they try to save their son, they will make you climb up trees to reach a plane that has somehow crashed yet still teetering on top of the branches, they will try to blast open hatches as you try to stop them from opening it. If you find yourself in any of the circumstances, tell them to get lost and go back to your beach hut or shelter and eat some more DHARMA branded food stuff.

6. Eating generic brands like the DHARMA Cereals, DHARMA Beer, DHARMA Ranch Dressing, and Apollo Candy Bars can make you irrational, emotional, prone to flash-backs at the most inconvenient times, and highly susceptible to weird theories of why your plane crashed. Even if one of the producers have said that there is a perfectly scientific reason.. this should be good.

7. If you are easily offended, don’t hang around Sawyer a.k.a James, because if he sees something unusual, he will always say S.O.B (yeah you can figure out what). And if you are close enough you even get to see him do his squinty frown.

8. If you miraculously survive a plane crash and a guy called Desmond starts following you, don’t bother going camping, sailing or diving with him. You are dead already.

9. Don’t join weird cults with names that don’t make sense. Especially if they put bastardized Ying-Yang symbols on everything they own, from buildings to cars to uniforms. Related to this learning is not to trust some oriental doctor who speaks like he grew up in California, yet greets you with an Indian greeting and only appears in black and white films to indoctrinate you.

10. A love Triangle is not complicated enough. Bring one more into it so now you have a love square. Add complexity by having the fourth person lie, cheat and beat up one of the original three.

11. You can make people think you know what you are talking about if you speak in riddles. It’s helpful if you have an unusual look (like no hair or have a reptilian gaze or have a weird name that rhymes with Gecko). That will keep them guessing and coming back for several seasons hoping that at one point you will give them the answers they want. Hah!

12. People are generally stupid (see above) and will accept answers even if they don’t understand it. Although by Season 3, some are getting pissed off, so someone, somewhere better come up with answers. Soon.